i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
