protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
