Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
