all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
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She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
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Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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