I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
