Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
not ubering you a puppy
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
