Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize