is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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