It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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