It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
