If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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