matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
