It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
