I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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