the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
