what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize