So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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