WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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