I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
