Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
