If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I need a burrito and a hug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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