I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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