You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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