You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
We are all done wearing pants today
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize