I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
