Midget sex pt 2 tonight
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
