i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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