so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
