my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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