Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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