i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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