so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
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We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
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i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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