Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
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I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
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I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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