You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize