He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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