its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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