That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
In America we eat man semen.
so let's talk penis.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
