physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
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this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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