I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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