Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
