My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
