There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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