It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Holy sore nipples Batman
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
