Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
