Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
