I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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