I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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