So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize