I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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