Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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