Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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