Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
