If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Enjoy the penises
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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