How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
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