I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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