You're my little dorito
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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