I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
